𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃

[callmedeath]

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[callmedeath]

I know. You're so good hearted and noble. Of course it will bother you. But I promise you, I'm okay. I have no regrets.

[ As long as she can keep holding his hand, there's no regrets. She smiles when he takes hers again. Their fingers seamlessly fit between one another. She gives a nod of agreement and begins to lead him out of the alley, so they can resume their journey to the harbor.

She gives him a mock indignant look. ]

For the last time, I do not snore! You must be thinking of someone else.

[furred]

[ He shakes his head. ]

I've slept with no one else.

[ Heat bursts across his skin, but Matthias steadfastly looks ahead. If he doesn't react, then she can't see it for the opportunity that it is. But knowing his heart, it's giving him away.

Aside from Trassel and the drüskelle in tight quarters, Nina's the only one he's slept close to. And he knows from the drüskelle what thunderous snores sound like. Nina had made sounds, but nothing close to the noises the drüskelle had. It's still fun to insist she had, though. It distracts her enough to distract him.

Taking in the streets so he can recall their detail in case Nina ever needs to be reminded of them, she shrugs. ]

I know the sound.

[callmedeath]

[ She's quiet at that. It makes sense. Fjerdans are so terribly conservative and devout. It makes sense that they treat sex and intimacy as some kind of holy thing. Likely they put too much pressure on the women to stay pure if they expect them to be the nurturers and caretakers.

She hears the nervous way Matthias' heart beats. She moves to hug his arm as they walk, so that they're pressed close. Her cheek is pressed against him. ]

Are drüskelle allowed to marry? I'm not sure if I know that.

[ She feels the warmth spread in her heart at knowing that she is his first. It makes it even more important to her to treat him with the care he deserves. He's special. So special. She wants to show him that. ]

[furred]

Yes.

[ Although, many of them are married to their mission of ensuring Grisha pay for their crimes. That's something Matthias keeps to himself, the words no longer feeling as smooth as they once did on his tongue. The only crime Grisha is guilty for is living and being different. Otherwise, Nina is like any other woman… who isn't from Fjerda. (A very important distinction.) ]

Commander Brum is married. They would not have let him be in service if it wasn't. But not many do. [ "Commander Brum" feels too respectful now, given everything the man has done. But old habits.

He shrugs. ] Being a drüskelle takes you away from home, and in Fjerda, men are protectors. You cannot protect if you're not there to do so.

[callmedeath]

And Mrs. Brum? [ She's curious. In a way, she wants him to remember the fond memories of his brethren if he can. He doesn't condone what they do and stand for, but it doesn't erase the bonds built there between them. She would not hold it against him. ] If he is her protector and he leaves her for long stretches, how does that work?

[ Her own duty often had her gone for long stretches. Once she'd been old enough and skilled enough, Nina had been sent away across the globe to gather intel and rescue Grisha that had been unjustly and cruelly taken. Home is not a place for her. It's been her people, and now it is Matthias. ]

Does that mean you are my protector now too?

[furred]

They are wealthy. He leaves guards and maids.

[ Even though she's not poking at it deliberately to pull at the threads and show him the gaping hole in Fjerda's logic, he understands it. How could Brum be a man of Fjerda yet leave his wife behind? His family? If his family was alive, Matthias would never leave them. His duty is to them. Protecting them protects his Fjerda.

Through, Brum had once told him that their cause served Fjerda, which, in turn, served everyone.

He smiles, chuckling softly. ] You don't need a protector, Nina. You do it all yourself.

[ Nina's not like the Fjerdan women. She's not like Fjerda at all. Matthias doesn't want to overstep and imply that she needs it when she doesn't. If anyone needs protecting, it seems to be him. ]

But I don't mind sharing the load. Many people need to be protected from your jokes.

[ That's not what being a protector of someone means, but Matthias smiles softly, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. He doesn't expect her to follow the customs of Fjerda, not like he had done so in the whale huts. ]

[callmedeath]

[ Ah, so Fjerda isn't truly holier and better than the rest of the world. It still works like the rest of them. The problem with their sort of flexible beliefs is that people like Matthias would soon realize the inconsistencies. People like Matthias are earnest and noble and truly believe in the goodness of it all, so when it fails, he cannot abide by it. It's a betrayal to his beliefs.

Like when he discovered Grisha are people too. They laugh and love and feel just like the Fjerdans. She grins and bumps her hips against his because he's quite right. She's protected herself well over the years. ]

My jokes are hilarious! You're just too Fjerdan to truly appreciate them yet. [ Nina gives a cheeky wink. They're getting closer to the docks. She can see the sails of a ship. That'll do. ] How about we both protect each other then?

[furred]

[ Amusedly, he mumbles, ] 'Too Fjerdan.'

[ But she's right. He is too Fjerdan, and perhaps he has to get used to the idea of adapting to beliefs more flexible than the ones he had grown up with. If he carves away what strangles him, what's left?

Looking ahead, he glances around, a touch paranoid. They're so close, yet, he worries that it's all part of some nefarious plan. He thinks like a drüskelle too often. They would have done this if they knew a group of Grisha were travelling to the harbour.

But he's not drüskelle. He's Matthias Helvar. ]

I think that sounds like a good plan. [ He smiles down at her and squeezes her hand. It's not completely out of the ordinary. It's become theirs, after all. ] I look high, you look low. We cover all bases naturally.

[ When you cut away the beliefs that strangle him, he thinks he's a comedian. ]

[callmedeath]

I have loads of dirty jokes for when you're ready. [ She smirks over at him. They approach the ship where two Shu sailors sit amongst the crates. They share similar features. Siblings perhaps. They're casual and completely at ease though the woman gives a nod of greeting as they get closer. Nina holds on to Matthias' arm and smiles prettily at them. ]

Hello! My husband and I were seeking passage. Perhaps to Novyi Zem? We have coin.

[ Which she artfully produces from her pocket. It's a leather pouch of coins. She's lifted it from a drunken sailor at the inn who'd been too handsy with the serving girls. Karmic retribution, she sees it.

The siblings share a look with another. The man takes the bag and opens it it. After a long beat, he gives her a nod. ]

Welcome aboard.

[furred]

[ Too easy. That's what a pessimist thinks, and that's what Matthias is. He remains quiet, ensuring to remain as relaxed as possible. It's difficult. He wants to stand tall, rigid, and peer down at them like he's done to so many people since joining the ranks of the drüskelle. But he follows Nina's lead instead, being as calm and quiet as possible while attempting to relax.

When the Shu seem satisfied with the coin Nina hands over, Matthias does his best to cover his surprise. Slipping his arm out from her hand, he wraps it around her shoulders. It's a simple gesture, one that he's seen couples do in the streets of Ravka just now. It's how he wishes for them to be. ]

That was easy. [ He lowers his head and whispers it to her before impulsively, almost instinctually, pressing a kiss to her temple in an attempt to cover it.

The taller of the Shu scrutinises them for a moment before pointing down. ] Sleep downstairs. You've got no luggage to crowd the quarters.

[ Matthias lets Nina do any of the smiling before gently tugging her up the gangway and over to the opposite side of the ship, away from prying eyes and sharp ears. ]

[callmedeath]

[ Money talks. Loudly. It can buy a lot, but there's always the chance of being double crossed. She's all smiles, but she's always watching. Always wary. It's always better to be in the safe side. She turns her head towards Matthias at his little kiss and murmur and giggles. She pats his chest affectionately. ]

My husband thanks you. He's the strong, silent type. You understand.

[ The siblings only looo amused as they walk the gangway onto the ship. What surprises her is that the ship is filled with all sorts. Not just those of different countrymen, but there's a Squaller at the helm. She jerks in surprise which is met with a laugh behind her. The female of the two siblings speaks. ]

Captain invites all kinds on his ship.

[furred]

Hm.

[ The hum is quiet. He doesn't make a show of looking around, too fearful of bringing attention to himself. Matthias is bulky and brawn; Nina is quiet and dainty with her secret keeping. Do they know they've let a Fjerdan on board? A member of the drüskelle?

A previous member of the drüskelle. Even if Matthias wanted to return to them, he couldn't. He wouldn't now. Perhaps if Commander Brum had been kinder…

Commander Brum has never been kind, not even to Matthias.

With his arm around her, Matthias ensures to keep Nina close. Despite no longer being on Ravkan soil, they're in Ravka's waters. He doesn't want them to take her away from him. He doesn't want the True Sea to take them under again. ]

Every time you say that, I feel warm all over.

[ It's a quiet murmur he says to the horizon, knowing Nina will hear it loud and clear alongside the fluttering of his heart. Husband. Not drüskelle. Not prick. Someone intimately important. ]

[callmedeath]

[ Curiouser and curiouser. Nina is intrigued by the Captain and the crew of this ship. She's been hoping for simply a safe passage, but she wonders more about them. They have time to figure it out. Before going down below deck to examine where they'll be sleep, she brings him to the side of the ship to gaze out towards the sea. She nestles at his side.

She smiles up at him. Her fingers dance along his chest. ]

Husband? [ There's a coy smile on her lips. She leans up to kiss the corner of his mouth. ] I rather like saying it.

[furred]

It doesn't sound lewd when you do.

[ He wrinkles his nose slightly, glancing at her. It's strange to think the True Sea is what truly brought them together. While her being Grisha and him being drüskelle had been the catalyst, if it wasn't for that sinking ship and that piece of driftwood, he might still be walking along a path that only leads to further shadows and nothing.

Matthias keeps his arm around her. ]

You don't think they will be suspicious we have no luggage?

[callmedeath]

Why would it sound lewd? It's not as if I'm calling you my lover or paramour.

[ The sexual connotations to that would surely offend Fjerdan sensibilities, bless. She's happy to say tucked under his arm. She raises a hand to shield her eyes from the sun while she discreetly looks around and takes stock of everyone aboard, crew and passengers alike. ]

Perhaps, but perhaps not. We're not the only ones. There's all sorts of reasons looking to run away with simply what's on their backs. For example, two starcrossed lovers looking to find a place that will let them be together.

[furred]

[ The way she says it, that they're two star-crossed lovers, makes it sound like the stories his mother used to tell him. Matthias stopped believing in those so long ago, but Nina's prompted him to reconsider.

Looking out at the water, he curves the corners of his lips up. ]

Am I not also those things?

[ Lover. Paramour. Whatever it is they wish to be in this moment. Despite his delicate sensibilities, Matthias has learned those aren't such horrible things to be to someone. Being important to another person is one of the greatest honours one can have. He's her stupidly tall Fjerdan and she's become everything to him. ]

[callmedeath]

You are and more.

[ Not so prim and proper anymore, her Fjerdan. She's a bad influence. She's always taken great pleasure in that, but she's particular glad she's that for Matthias. She's helped him see better when it comes to those different from him and what his country expects. She playfully tugs on his shirt and smirks.

Her voice drops to a husky purr. ]

My lover.

[furred]

[ He smiles and ducks his head, the back of his neck and his cheeks warming. It's clearly the sun focusing only on him and his face. ]

You need to not say it like that.

[ Matthias refuses to look at her despite knowing it's hopeless. She knows what he's thinking, how he's feeling. How his heart flutters.

But she needs to not listen to him, because that's exactly how he should say it. ]

[callmedeath]

Say it like how?

[ She has he most innocent look on her face. She can the color flooding his cheeks and creeping along his neck much to her delight. He's not looking at her which makes her grin. She bites her bottom lip and tries again. This time, she makes her voice even more sultry. ]

My paramour.

[furred]

Stop it.

[ He says it with a smile he tries to bite back and looks away, turning his face briefly. He's not going to stop sporting pink, is he? That word makes his heart flutter; he knows she's felt it. ]

You're being vulgar.

[ Which, of course, he's started to like. ]

[callmedeath]

Oh, but you love it, min käre make.

[ She knows quite well how much he likes it when she's vulgar. A big fan, he is. It's a pity they're surrounded by so many others. She wonders if he'll enjoy being discreet and forced to be quiet. There's great fun in that.

She leans up to brush her lips along his jaw then nips at him. ]

[furred]

Nina…

[ It's whispered as he shifts on the spot. She's so dangerous, and not because she's Grisha. The danger she poses is because she's Nina Zenik.

But he smiles, and where he twists away from her, he ends up leaning toward her all the same. ]

Not on the ship.

[ He misses the whale huts, even though they had been so, so cold. ]

[callmedeath]

It might be weeks before we reach our destination.

[ She gives him a little pout. The thought of weeks without sounds terrible. She has half the mind to take him off other boat, and they'll find another way to travel. But that's foolish and reckless which Matthias makes her apt to do simply because she adores him. ]

So just kisses? Not even some heavy petting then?

[furred]

[ He exhales loudly. Kissing leads to heavy petting which leads to her knowing how pleased he is to be sleeping beside her. As much as she teases him for being so proper, Matthias doesn't particularly want their first few times together to be on a creaky ship with strangers. ]

Maybe some kisses.

[ He glances at her with a sly smile. ]

And some petting. But nothing more, Nina. This is a ship, not a whale hut.

[callmedeath]

[ As much as Nina likes to tease and cajole, she's also respectful of his boundaries when she knows he means them. She'll resign herself to kisses and touches, but nothing more. She can handle it. She curls against him, arms wrapped around him, and rests her head against his broad chest. ]

As you wish, my husband. I promise to mostly behave.