𝑜𝓅𝑒𝓃

[callmedeath]

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[furred]

[ Yes. That should be his answer. If she had asked him this question when he had been paddling broken wood in the True Sea, he'd have regarded her incredulously. But now…

Matthias shakes his head. ]

They would think me a traitor.

[ Especially because he had multiple chances to kill her and didn't. Especially because he had the opportunity to return to Fjerdan soil and chose to grace Ravka instead. Especially because he likes her and her horrible sense of humour.

Rather than use a knife and fork, he tears into his waffle with his hands. Turns out, waffles are not only sweet and savoury but great for a distraction.

He hesitates, but not because of what he's about to say. It's finding the words. ]

I don't think I could go back. Not after what Brum did.

[ Leaving the Grisha to drown. Despite how horrible the tales had twisted them to be, they didn't deserve that. They deserved fairness. They deserved more than what Matthias ever got. ]

[callmedeath]

[ There's no going back for them. They were both anomalies of their own people. They'd look the enemy in the eye and saw more than witch and butcher. She's a traitor now too to her people. Kirigan will be incensed. She doesn't feel an ounce of regret in her about it. Knowing that she could never truly go home doesn't feel like such a loss.

She'd never truly had a home outside of her duty in the Second Army. Matthias is something she can have just for herself. To keep and be kept.

She eats another bite of her waffle, chewing contentedly. It pleases her to see him enjoy it too. She wants to learn his favorite foods. All his favorite things and the things he dislikes. ]

Then it's just you and I against the world, darling. I do hope you're okay with that.

[furred]

[ That should terrify him. ]

I am.

[ He looks up at her so she can't misconstrue him looking down as doubt. This is the one thing he knows he wants. It's how his mother used to describe how it was with her father. She simply just knew. When you know, you know. It hadn't been the most fulfilling advice. Matthias had wanted something more tangible than that, but now he understands it.

When you know, you know. And he knows. ]

What are we going to do? We can't stay here, can we?

[ All her friends are here. All the people that his people have wanted dead are here. Matthias is certain Ravka is the most dangerous place for him to reside in.

He feels partly at fault for her not being able to come home. ]

[callmedeath]

[ It's like something has slotted into place. She feels a sense of utter confidence that she'd never quite felt before. She doesn't know what their future holds. It'll be difficult certainly, but as long as they're together, she's sure they can work it through.

When you know, you know. ]

Mmm, Ravka is clearly out of the question. Ravka too. Kerch perhaps? Novyia Zem?"

[ She's practiced at creating new identities, going to new places. This time, she'll have a partner. ]

We'll not travel as brother and sister obviously. People don't look as closely at married couples.

[furred]

[ He hates the way his heart skips a beat at married couples. Does he envision himself as Nina's husband? No. Not at all. This was only meant to be a temporary alliance, something to get them both across the snow and to somewhere warm. But somewhere between the ice that had caved in beneath her and now, she's clawed her way under his skin.

If Matthias was honest with himself, he'd know she achieved such a feat the first moment he spoke to her on the ship. Calling him derisive names seems to do the trick. ]

They don't?

[ He puts the waffle down as he regards her seriously. ]

Nina… We are not getting married. [ He shakes his head incredulously. ] We can't.

[callmedeath]

I didn't say we'd get married truly.

[ Her tone is playfully teasing. She continues eating her waffle as if nothing is amiss. He's utterly adorable like this. So easily shocked, so easy to make blush. She hopes he never stops.

She has to bite back her giggle at how incredulous he is. It's as though Matthias has taken it upon herself to be her reason and logic. When she wants to take off with a harebrained idea, he's there to say, 'Nina, no!' ]

We just pretend.

[furred]

[ He furrows his brows at that. Pretend to be married? Why? Right, because apparently it's better to pretend to be a couple than brother and sister… Not that Matthias could ever believe she was his sister. He's well aware he looks at Nina in a way that isn't appropriate.

He shakes his head and opens his mouth to protest, but she's the one who's suggesting this to keep him safe. Marriage, whether fake or not, provides a layer of protection. That's everything he's ever learned about it. And Nina has done nothing but protect him—from the icy waters of the True Sea, from the lingering chill of the snow and water, from the Grisha she knows so well.

This should be easy. ]

You want to pretend to be married to me?

[ Why this is so shocking to him, he doesn't know. Nina likes to shock. She likes doing things that make his heart beat a little harder.

He eyes her for a moment before he curls the corner of his lip upward. ]

Will you still make your jokes?

[ This is important. ]

[callmedeath]

Why not?

[ Marriage isn't something she's really thought about at all. Only with Matthias does it feel less ephemeral. She supposes that pretending to be married might be a good little try on for them to see how it fit.

There's a moment where she frets that this might be too much. It simply offends all his Fjerdan propriety, living in sin with her. She waits him and studies him. She tries not to focus too much on his heart. That feels like cheating.

His question that and soft, almost imperceptible smile fills her with relief. She gives a bright beaming grin as she waves her waffle in hand as she gestures animatedly. ]

Oh, they'll be even lewder!

[furred]

[ Smiling, he shakes his head. Incorrigible. That's what she is. Absolutely incorrigible. And so very Nina, too.

It does offend his Fjerdan propriety, but Matthias has left Fjerda behind him. Perhaps he did the very moment she spat in his face the word 'slaver'. While marriage is something sacred to him… there's something a little intoxicating about being able to pretend to be her husband. He's already hers, but… This is putting a different label on it.

He won't be just her Fjerdan. ]

Do you think it will work? That they'll believe someone like you would marry someone like me?

[ Nina marrying a Fjerdan. Nina marrying someone all and literal and stubborn enough to not want to laugh at her jokes so loudly. He's so different to her. ]

[callmedeath]

Why wouldn't they believe that?

[ Nina sets her waffle down and looks at him seriously. There's a knit to her brows with a slight frown tugging on her lips. She doesn't understand the question. All she can see is the good in him. His big and caring heart. His strong, warm embrace. His idealism and faith. ]

I think we're quite the handsome couple. The sweetly exasperated husband and his flighty, spirited wife. It's very us, don't you think?

[furred]

It is.

[ He concedes quietly with a small nod.

Would people believe someone like her would be with someone like him? Matthias knows what he's done. She knows what he's done. People who look at them won't know that he once hunted her kind because her kind had taken everything away from him. They won't know the endless cycle drüskelle and Grisha live every day. Fear drives them.

Matthias is afraid now, but not in the same way he had been of Grisha before.

If he pretends to be married to Nina… Well, what if he likes it too much? ]

You forgot exasperating. Wiggles too much in bed. Claims all the sheets for herself.

[ And she's kind and wonderful and does things to his insides that he likes very much. ]

You also forgot beautiful.

[callmedeath]

[ They both have done awful things. Nina knows her own sins. She's justified it for the good of Ravka and for the good of all Grisha. She knows Matthias has done the same. It feels like such a relief to throw off the yoke of their duty and expectations.

They can define their own destiny and identity. Discover who they can be outside of all that fighting and death.

Her lips curve into a smirk. Her elbows rests on the table as she cups her chin in her hand while she gazes at him. ]

Now I know for a fact you enjoy how much I wiggle in your bed. [ And for all her scandalous flirting, there's still a rosy flush at his compliment. ]

[furred]

I don't!

[ He laughs, flustered. She's not supposed to come to that conclusion! But expecting Nina not to do as she bids whenever she bids isn't wanting her to be herself at all.

Glancing down, he doesn't pick at the waffles again. He exhales softly, his shoulders shifting. There's still time for her to change her mind, to go back with her people and rejoin her life. She won't take it, though. Stubborn to a fault. Infuriating, too. ]

Have you ever done this before?

[callmedeath]

Liar.

[ She smiles fondly at him. Even before he'd admitted to liking her, she knows he'd enjoyed the warm press of her body and how she wiggles against him. His expression turns more serious, so she follows his lead. This is important. She doesn't to make him feel as though this is all a game to her.

He's so important to her. She'd walked away from her country and duty for him with no regrets. ]

No. Much of my job is me on my own. It's easier that way. This is different. We're a team.

[furred]

[ So, this is new for her. At least he won't be the only one fumbling around.

Matthias prides himself on his work ethic, on his ability to see his duty through and to do so with the most honour. But this? This isn't as simple as capturing Grisha. While he takes a piece of himself to every mission handed to him by Brum, this requires all of him. (This, at least, he won't look back on with shame.)

And Matthias Helvar doesn't do anything half-assed. Paddling and pushing a heavy piece of wood in thick furs should prove that. ]

We are a team.

[ She keeps his heart working. He kicks. They've proven how good they are together, even before he knew her name.

Still with a serious expression, he teases, ] You know, in Fjerda, the wife is expected to hold her husband's hand wherever they go or else he risks becoming lost.

[callmedeath]

[ Nina's beaming smile is practically incandescent. Hearing say it in return warms her once cold heart. They've been a wonderful team since the beginning, even before they've become what they are now. She knows that whatever they do next, it's going to be spectacular. There's a whole new world ahead of them to explore. She's seen a lot of it, but she knows he hasn't. Not with his strict druskelle training.

She wants to show it all to him. She wants him to experience all the good things that the world has to offer. She wants to see it through his eyes.

She doesn't expect his joke. His expression doesn't change. Matthias is very good at keeping a straight face when she isn't being scandalous. His teasing earns him bright giggles, so much so that she brings her hand to her mouth to the and muffle them from being too loud. ]

So Fjerdan woman do have some sense! Honestly, I'm relieved. Don't you worry, darling. I'll be sure to keep hold of that large wolf paw of yours!

[furred]

Your paws are very tiny.

[ But he suspects that he'll be able to hold his hand, anyway. It's strange to think there had been a time when the thought of holding her hand repulsed him. Now… it's all he wants to do.

She's done something to his insides, and he's concluded it's not because of her power.

He leans across the table, feeling an impulsive burst of playfulness. ]

It's a Fjerdan secret, Nina. You can't go around telling everyone, then everyone will be holding hands and it'll lose all meaning.

[ It's only meant for one Fjerdan. Him. And Matthias Helvar can be quite possessive. ]

[callmedeath]

[ Oh, she loves this playfulness about him. It softens him. His stern Fjerdan features are infused with joy. She wants to make him look like this always. When he leans over, she meets him. Her tiny paw extends out to him, palm up, and she wiggles her fingers at him in invitation. ]

Your secret is safe with me, min älskling.

[ The Fjerdan rolls of her tongue just as easily as Ravkan. She's got no care for the remaining waffle which says a lot of her affection for him. A sly smile tugs at her lips. ]

Perhaps we should get started now, husband.

[furred]

[ His heart flutters at that. Husband. He's never been a husband before, and never thought he would be. His life had ended when his village burned. All he had was the drüskelle. That was before Nina. Now he gets to be something—someone—more.

He smiles before he nods toward her plate. ]

Are you sure you don't want to finish your waffle, min fru?

[ Matthias figures if he's to be her husband, he's to ensure that she doesn't make any rash decisions, especially when it comes to her beloved food. ]

[callmedeath]

[ Without missing a beat, Nina picks up the waffle with her other hand. Her extended hand is still awaiting his paw to take it. She takes her job get seriously. She's going to keep hold on his Fjerdan hand, so that he may never be lost. ]

Who says I can't do both? Where shall we go then? Leaving the city might be the best idea. We can go to the harbor and see what boats are going where then choose from there.

[ It's a spontaneous way of deciding where to go. She wonders if it makes him itch in all his Fjerdan conservatism to just fly by the seat of his hands. ]

[furred]

[ It does make him itch. Matthias likes plans. He likes knowing where he's going, what he's going to do there, and how long he's meant to stay. It's part Fjerdan customs, part drüskelle rules, part him.

Placing his hand in hers, he's gentle when he grips it. She's asking him to take a leap of faith, something that he's still not entirely confident in. What if he loses his footing and they go slipping into the icy waters again? Or she ends up injured or captured and taken away from him? What if he's discovered by his drüskelle brothers?

Matthias prefers plans. They keep things in order, people safe, and expectations clear. But everything to do with Nina has been an explosion of spontaneity.

He smiles softly at her as he considers her words. Everything in him wants a plan, but Matthias knows that's a luxury that perhaps they don't want. ]

We could go to Novyi Zem. There are no wolves there, but I have heard there are dogs. We could pretend to be farmers.

[ Where the weather is neither warm or cold. It won't favour him or her like Fjerda or Ravka would. ]

[callmedeath]

It's beautiful there. I think you'll like it.

[ The Zemeni people are more understanding. There's a tranquility there that she envies. She hopes that perhaps the two of them might find some of that for themselves. She and Matthias both have seen so much death and suffering. They derserve a nice change of pace.

His hand is so much bigger than hers. He wears the calluses of training and labor while hers are soft. Despite his size and strength, his wolf paw holds her gently. Like she's a bird in his palm that he doesn't want to crush.

She stands up and feeds him some of her waffle. She's already paid for their meal. ]

I think you'd make a fine farmer. I'd be happy to watch you work a field and chop some wood. Preferably with your shirt off.

[furred]

[ When she stands, he quickly glances around, hoping that her movement hasn't drawn unwanted attention. Not that he'd know, anyway; Ravka has been an idea to him for so long, one that harbours those he had sworn to stop. Everyone around them could be unwanted attention.

Now… It seems like he's busy being fed by that nation.

Flushing, he peers up at her for once. He thinks to press his lips together to prove difficult, but maybe he has his whole life to do that. He ensures to take a big bite of the waffle considering she's offering him something so precious to her. ]

I'd wear several shirts. It isn't proper to wear none.

[ The drüskelle won't kill Matthias. Him being a stubborn dumbass baking in the sun wearing several layers will.

With a playful purse to his lips, he shrugs. ] Long sleeves, right up to the neck.

[callmedeath]

[ Nina nods happily, pleased that he took a bite. She'll have to take him up on adding pork to it. She has a feeling it will be utterly divine. She gives his hand a tug as they stroll out of the inn. They don't have much to their name. That's fine. They'll build up what they need over time. It'll be easier to travel light this way. She never once legs go of his hand.

The thought of him wearing a shirt, layers of shirts even, while doing farm work draws an exaggerated pout out of her. She looks up at him, completely put out. ]

Ruin myfun, why don't you?

[furred]

[ He laughs loudly, scrunching up his face. It's not like the roar of laughter that had emerged from him at the whale huts, which has been laced with some incredulity. This is Matthias' laugh.

Gripping her hand, he peers down at her. ]

I will wear nothing but pants for you, Nina.

[ Even in the cold, although he suspects he'd have her to help warm him up.

With pink blossoming at the tops of his cheeks, he glances around the street. It's a little too obvious he's practically a tourist, so Matthias tries not to look so out of place despite being blonde and big and very much the Fjerdan stereotype. ]

We should rest. We can go tomorrow.

[ Although, if she wants to board a ship now, he's more than happy to do so. But there's the issue of money and possessions and everything that they aren't carrying on their backs at this very moment. ]